Taboos Of Eid Al-Fitr

"Taboos Of Eid Al - Fitr" well. Does the title sound dramatic enough to attract you lazy-reading eyes? The content would be pretty much common sense, and that you should be expecting an article of "do's and don't's" because that actualy sums up this article. It is important to observe proper etiquette, during raya celebrations. Though your Malay muslim host will not necessarily comment on this, observing etiquette will help ease any social gaffes or awkward moments during Hari Raya. So here goes:

1) Dressing undecently. As wearing a proper and not revealing attire is a must in muslim tradition (especially in special occasions) no weird costumes, shorts, ripped jeans, sleeveless tops or skimpy dresses as anything that is revealing for both males and females is taboo, and your host will view this as a sign of disrespect.

2) Going inside the house as you please. It is polite to knock on the door to inform the host of your arrival, or if the door is open, to at least call out, thus allowing the host to receive you. Calling out Assalamualaikum, will be answered by the reply of Waalaikumsalam, which wishes both the host and the guest “Peace be upon you”. Some bigger houses may have bells are doorman so just adapt to the situation accordingly.

3) Handshakes. Most Malays are aware of western ways, so a handshake has become acceptable. The western way of shaking hands is quite similar to the Malays’, although there are slight differences as mentioned above. One has to bear in mind is that Malay women do not shake hands with men in accordance with Islamic practice. However some are open enough and don’t mind, so if a women doesn’t response just take your hand back.

In this instance, a smile, nod of acknowledgement and polite conversation between the man and woman will suffice.

As a substitute, men may also slightly nod instead, while placing their hand on their heart in greeting a woman. Malay women can, of course, shake hands with other women. They commonly do so by grasping the hands of the other woman with both of theirs.

Of course, a smile is always a welcome accompaniment. One will notice that younger relatives of the family will often kiss the hands of their elders or touch it to their foreheads as a sign of respect.

4) Overeating. After being seated by the hosts, guests will usually be invited to partake in the prepared buffet. If one has visited many houses and wishes to refrain from eating excessively, the gesture of jangkau, literally meaning in Malay, “to touch”, is allowed. To refuse food, one should just touch the edge of the tray or the plate without necessarily touching the food, this is so that one may not crave the food later on.

To eat even just a slice of cake or just a biscuit will fulfil a Malay host’s sense of duty to feed a guest, so overeating as not to offend your hosts is unnecessary. It’s good to take the food nearest to your first. But take note thst you shouldn't overeat; not only that you will make them think you're too shameless, it's not good for you as well. Save some spaces for you to breathe, or visit the next open house.

5) Looking for alcoholic drinks. During an open house, guests are normally served with a rainbow selection of soft drinks and cordials, but if you’re watching your sugar intake, it’s not impolite to ask for a glass of water instead. Host would be happy to fulfill custom needs as long as is not excessive or alcoholic.

6) Using your left hand. When partaking in food or drink, always receive or take with your right hand. The left hand should never be used to handle food under any circumstances, as it is considered “unclean”.

7) Visiting during praying times. This would allow the host to observe the five daily prayers. Avoid early in the morning, 1pm and late at night time. The host would not expect the guess to help out, unless you are a close relative to the host, so just enjoy.

8) Expecting too much duit raya. Some houses will offer the traditional green packets(angpau) to children, which should be received with the right hand or both hands. Its actually called “duit raya” in malay which means Eid Money normally put in a green envelope but other colors are also accepted nowadays. The sum and amount depends on the affordability of the person and various. A stranger might get less then a direct family. It’s also common practice, if the host has kids, the guest can also offer “duit raya” to the kids as friendly gesture. Do remember, giving duit raya to from guest to other guests kids are not necessary at all.

9) Loiter your stay. As throughout the day, a Malay home will receive many guests, then it is bestnot to loiter or overstay your welcome, even though the host may insist that you stay longer.

10) Bringing gifts or buah tangan. During Hari Raya, a guest’s presence in the home is already very much appreciated.

As a summary, following these guidelines will make it a happy Hari Raya for everyone, regardless if you’re a guest or a even the host. So, to all my Muslim readers, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, and I hope everyone will observe safe driving during this festive season.